Magic… it’s all about sleight of hand, isn’t it?
So much of it looks real, but behind the scenes it’s just clever trickery.
Like when you become a Mum.
You can pretty much fool your children into thinking you have magic powers. And they don’t find out until they’re older that it was all deceit.
Well-meaning deceit to make them think that you’re invincible – so they’ll feel secure.
But still deceit.
I’ll be sad when my kids grow up and realise that my tricks are just that. About as real as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy or the Easter Bunny.
Until then I will continue to perform the following feats of hocus pocus:
The amazing memory woman
She remembers birthdays/anniversaries/retirements/christenings/first days at school/last days of term and conjures up a thoughtful and elegantly-wrapped present for each relative, friend or teacher while her husband and children look on open-mouthed and wonder “Where did that come from?”
Her encyclopaedic knowledge of names, dates and personal information are astounding. Ask her anything. She can even reel off the home phone numbers of her husband’s and children’s best friends – when they don’t have a clue.
The Housework Fairy
Ever seen that bit of Mary Poppins where she moves her hands, like she’s conducting an orchestra, and all the toys walk back into the toy box?
Well this Mum appears to do just that. When it comes to a pile of mess, she sweeps by and it’s a case of “now you see it, now you don’t”.
The incredible invisible nutrients
See that yummy meal whipped up by Mum, full of all the rubbish you like? It’s got vegetables and superfoods in it – only you don’t know it.
That chocolatey dessert you are so into? It’s got hidden fruits in it. You can’t see them, but they’re in there.
You can refuse your five-a-day all you like.
Mum is a master of disguise. And she has ways of making you healthy.
And, whether the kids are impressed or not, I certainly am!
It’s an app from The Royal Bank of Scotland.
If you’ve got an RBS personal current account with a debit card, digital banking and a UK mobile number starting 07 on iPhone, iPad, android, Blackberry and Windows smartphones, you can get this quickly and easily to help you with all your multi-tasking needs.
After inputting my phone number, a code was texted to me, and within 24 hours I was raring to go.
It lets me see my own bank account, the joint account from which we pay our bills, and the accounts I’ve got set up for the boys.
So I can check when my salary has gone in, and when the mortgage comes out – making it easier for me to avoid going overdrawn.
I can transfer cash between accounts, I can pay bills and even get a statement on my screen. One of my favourite features is the map which shows the location of the nearest cashpoint. Since I drive to so many different locations in my job, it’s a useful tool which avoids wasting time.
I’ve also had the unfortunate experience – twice – of having my card declined at the supermarket till, when I’ve gone out with only one debit card and that particular account has insufficient funds (I know, embarrassing right?)
In both cases, I had to jump in my car and drive home to pick up another debit card, while a sympathetic supermarket assistant held my shopping behind the customer service counter.
Time-consuming and infuriating.
With this app, I can actually withdraw money from the cashpoint right outside our local grocery store.
Going to the RBS app on my iPhone, I select an account which does have enough funds, type in how much I want, and then receive a cash code to put into any RBS or Tesco cashpoint. Avoiding the empty-handed walk of shame back to the car park. Genius.
But RBS is full of helpful little tricks.
Like this card trick. For kids who like to play card games, but are forever dropping them, or having their hand seen by the opposing player.
Cut slits into an egg box. And voila.
Blake is very impressed.
This post is in conjunction with BritMums for their #MumsMagicTricks challenge with RBS.