A friend made me smile the other day, when discussing her plans to have children in the future.
“I’m not going to be one of those mums,” she announced.
As the rest of us looked in bemusement, she added: “You know? The ones who put it on Facebook when their baby does a poo. They have nothing better to talk about.”
I smiled, not only because I have been one of those mums – and I’m sure she will be one day too.
But also because I had countless things I was never going to do when I became a mum. And I’ve pretty much broken every resolve.
That’s the thing about having children. They make you rethink your pre-conceived ideas, and realise it’s impossible to live up to your perfect ideal of parenthood.
Here’s a few things that went by the wayside when my kids came along.
I won’t be one of those mums….
… who gives her baby a dummy
First sign of a sleepless night, and my friend recommended a cherry soother, which my firstborn took straight away. As others were suffering screaming, teething babies, my boy sucked furiously and contentedly through that painful stage, not making a sound. His little brother is likewise a fan. I only disapproved of dummies because of the judgemental comments of others, who dislike them purely on aesthetics. To me, not only does a dummy symbolise a peaceful night’s sleep, but I also happen to think they’re cute.
… who let’s her children eat too many sweets
The word ‘treat’ is over-used in my house, because my boys ask for one all the time – whether they deserve it or not. It was always my intention that my children would get sweets once a week, and in moderation. But sometimes bribery is just necessary in order to hold onto your sanity. We have healthy days, and days when they’re bouncing off the walls in a pure sugar rush. I reckon they’re not at school yet, and there’s plenty of time to be strict.
… who talks constantly about her kids
Well, I’m writing a mummy blog, aren’t I? So guilty as charged, although I do try to hold back when I’m with friends who don’t have kids. I can remember how mind-numbingly boring it was before I joined the realms of parenthood. But then, I have friends who post pictures of their dogs on Facebook, and talk about them like they are their children. And I smile sweetly and show interest – so why can’t they indulge me?
… who competes with other mums
I don’t need to – because my kids are the best in the world!
… who let’s television babysit her kids
Until my boys were born, I didn’t know it was possible for a human being to function on five hours’ sleep (and I’m talking about me, not them). Sometimes it’s just necessary to slip on a Disney DVD, and lie on the couch resting my eyes, while waiting for the sun to come up – and my energy to return. You show me a mum who leaps out of bed at the crack of dawn, ready for finger painting and jigsaw puzzles, and I’ll show you a woman…… on an illegal substance!
What good parenting intentions did you see slip by the wayside?
Image (c) PA Wire/Peter Byrne
