MummyCentral

You might think underwater

That they pay no heed to fashion

But when it comes to underpants

They are Nessie’s only passion

This monster of the loch

Rarely ventures from the water

But when she does she covers up

Just like ladies oughta

As tourists take their souvenirs

On boats from shore to shore

A swish of Nessie’s tail makes waves

Washing shopping overboard

And as the bags sink down

Into the deep and murky grey

This cunning monster watches out

For fancy lingerie

The fish all gaze in wonder

as she slips on tartan bloomers

But soon her deep sea fashion shows

Were leading to some rumours

“She’s coming out,” said salmon

“The monster hunters will all see her

“She says she’s sick of hiding

“And that underpants will free her.”

At night, on dry land

Nessie gathered up her knicker haul

Trying on her frilly briefs

For her special photocall

She was ready for her close-up

Having chosen her best pair

To give the hunters their prize shot

of a legend in underwear

With her head above the surface

Nessie heard gasps from the crowd

As tourists groped for cameras

Their shouts of excitement so loud

By the time the click of lenses

And the flashes came alive

Our monster had turned tail

And performed a deep sea dive

Now Nessie is content

With fashion shows for fishy friends

And Loch Ness still draws tourists

Since her mystery never ends

The folk who saw her that day

Claim the monster is no rumour

But their only proof is a photo

Of a pair of spotty bloomers

So if you ever wander

By Loch Ness late at night

You might see something big and green

To give you quite a fright

But there’s no need to worry

It’s nothing dangerous or daring

Only Nessie on an evening stroll

To give her pants an airing

 

May is National Share a Story Month, and wooden bed makers Warren Evans  is running a campaign to encourage children to get excited about storytelling.

I’m honoured to be included among 25 bloggers contributing an original bedtime story, along with a drawing from my child, to be compiled into an e-book which can be downloaded from the Warren Evans site.

Since we’re in Scotland, and the boys love the Underpants series (Dinosaurs Love Underpants and Aliens Love Underpants) I came up with this to keep them entertained.

Hope you like it *dons tartan skirt and does Highland Fling*